Janet

Most of my close friends know why I moved to Texas.  If you don't, the rest of this post will mean nothing to you.

WARNING:  Mushy stuff after the jump....

I met Janet a good while ago.. I think it's been nearly eight months now.  We hit it off right away, and within a few months we were inseparable in nearly every regard imaginable;  the virtual world of Second Life, Skype, Facebook, and the good old telephone.  I have only known one other love in my life like that, and that was a VERY long time ago.  Not even my ex-wife affected me the way she does.

Janet and I loved each other very much, but were so very far apart.   We talked extensively about our future, and we mutually agreed that any future we might have would be dependent on us being geographically closer.

As it happened, the tenure at my current residence at the time was over.  I was technically homeless at the start of April of 2013.  I had few options:  Find a new place to live in Virginia or move to Texas.  Both options were equally as technically viable, but the idea of taking on a year-long lease in Virginia was very cost prohibitive in comparison to the same arrangement in the Houston, TX area.  My job at the time was not reliant upon my location, rendering the choice rather simple.

I could have stayed in VA, remaining over a thousand miles away from the woman I love while paying an outrageous amount of money to continue to live alone, or I could move closer to Janet and enjoy a much more affordable living cost, while being a very long way away from my family.  It was an easier choice than you might think.  Love has a funny way of influencing decisions like that.

I left Virginia on April, 2, 2013.  I had just over a thousand dollars to my name, which I figured would be way more than enough to get to Houston, and I had the promise of (albeit) temporary, robust support from my family upon arrival. There is a significantly relevant side-story about my job and my father's involvement with that which factors into things, but I won't bore you with those details here.

Along the way, a lot of very profound things happened.  Perhaps the most affecting was the fact that I had driven only a handful of the 20+ hours before falling ill in Roanoke,  VA.  I wound up being stuck there for 5 days.  The hotel cost $100 a day, zapping half of what I thought I would have available for the entire trip.

When I finally was physically able to continue driving, I continued onto what was supposed to be my first stop in the first place:  To spend a few days with my daughter in North Carolina before continuing on.  Despite my recent financial drawback, I could not forgo that stop.  This is my only child, my daughter, and before I put a thousand miles between us, I had to spend time with her.

I should mention that up to this point, and a trend that would prove true for the entire trip, I was working long hours for my employer thanks to the internet access that permeated all of the places I stopped during my journey.

After leaving NC, and given how depleted my funds were at the time, I thought I would give a go at making the rest of the journey in a single shot.  I got as far as Baton Rouge, LA before it was apparent that I could drive no further and expect to do so safely.  The $60 I paid for that night's stay depleted all I had left monetarily, and I still needed a full tank of gas and another day to get to where I was determined to be.  Not to mention the cost of the place I intended to live, an extended stay hotel.

It was 2AM, I had no money, I was in a strange land, and I had to do something drastic if I was to be able to finance the rest of the trip.  So I took a rather irresponsible financial decision:  I intentionally over-drafted my bank by $500 and put the money in my PayPal account, for use to secure the rest of the journey and make sure I would have a place to stay when I got to Houston.

There are no words to describe how deeply this infuriated my father.  He felt, perhaps justifiably so, that I had done such a thing to my account under the assumption that he would cover it.  That's not true, but I understand why he thought that way.  It immediately and persistently influenced the nature any further assistance he would provide.

In all honestly, it was too late for me to call a 73 year old man for help, and I assumed he would understand what motivated my decision. I was mistaken.

As I entered Texas, Janet called me every few minutes to see where I was, and to make sure I didn't get lost.  I had the route all set, but it warmed my heart to see that she was concerned.  In fact, it made me realize that I had made the right choice in the first place :)  I was on my way to happiness, and my Janet was guiding me home.

On April 9th, 2013, I arrived at my current abode.  Checked in and moved in, I immediately took on a phone call with my employer to check in on things.  At the time, all seemed well.

A few hours later, Janet came to see me!!!  I was overwhelmed with joy!!!!  At last, after all these months, I can reach out and touch that which has been the object of my overwhelming passion for so long!!  It was so amazing to be with her, such that words do not exist to describe.

We spent the week being together.  Still inseparable.  Still one soul sharing two bodies.

On Saturday, April 13th, I was told that not only am I no longer employed, but that I was unemployed effective March 13th (another long story.  One that I do not agree with, but that is what happened).

This was about the same time that Janet seemed to back away from me.  The pain was immeasurable and indescribable.  I was alone in a strange place, unemployed, and now, it seemed, abandoned.

Things have, I think, improved since then, and where appropriate I will keep my friends updated on my emotional well-being in that regard.  It has been hard for me, but I think it has also been hard for her. I think she underestimated the significance of a face-to-face meeting until it actually happened.

I do not fault her for that, and I refuse to give up.  I know what she is afraid of losing, so it is my job to provide those things for her, and I will not rest until I have done so.

I know you are reading this, Janet, and I want you to know that I love you, now and forever.  You deserve to be happy, and I will not give up until you are the happiest woman on earth.

I know this post is full of typos and other mistakes, but it's almost 7AM and I am exhausted.  I wanted to make sure the world knows how I feel about you.  I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

I will be here to take care of you.  I will be here to make you smile.  I will be here to laugh with you, to cry with you, to hold you and comfort you when you are feeling pain.

Always.

I love you, and I will never stop loving you.

Do not be afraid.  I will be here to catch you when you fall.  I will never be anything less than what you have always deserved.  Trust me.

Please.